COMMENTARY
We are able to care for ourselves simply superb
Printed October 4, 2024 5:45AM (EDT)
Former President Donald Trump, Rep. Liz Cheney (R-WY) and conservative tv host Laura Ingraham (Photograph illustration by Salon/Getty Photos)
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Off the rails is how I might describe Donald Trump when he says he would be the protector of girls.
I awoke the opposite day and grabbed my cellphone to test my e-mail the place, courtesy of the web, I had the pleasure of listening to the previous president replace me concerning the state of affairs for American ladies. Now, early-morning Trump early will not be precisely the dream situation for many of us gals however what the hey. This explicit morning, I discovered that my present state of what I at all times considered average happiness was all an phantasm, a merciless charade perpetrated by the pretend information to make all of us girls really feel we had been content material with life underneath Joe Biden and the evil Kamala Harris.
However Trump enlightened me. Seems I’m much less wholesome, much less protected on the streets, and poorer, paying extra for all these cosmetics I smuggle in among the many groceries so hubby doesn’t see that I’m spending an excessive amount of on frivolous gadgets. (As an apart, we gals have to purchase a number of cosmetics to maintain our appears, lest hubby commerce us in for a youthful mannequin, as Trump did. However I extrapolate right here. In equity, Trump didn’t really say that. I’d characterize it as a nuanced trope underlying his total message for us gals, besides I don’t have the training or the mind to make use of phrases like trope.)
However I digress. Apparently, I’m “extra confused and depressed and sad and fewer assured sooner or later than I used to be 4 years in the past.” Gosh! All this enlightenment earlier than I even get off the bed within the morning. Fortuitously, assistance is on the best way.
“I’ll repair all of that and quick. In the end, this nation, our nationwide nightmare will finish.” Why? As a result of Trump will likely be our protector!
Good previous Donald Trump will make me “protected on the border.” (I assume he means the Mexican border, not the borders of my hometown, which the FBI occurs to characterize as one of many most secure within the nation, partly as a result of so a lot of its immigrant residents are such exemplary residents.) The excellent news is that Trump is not going to solely guarantee my border security. He’s going to make me and all the remainder of my feminine posse protected “on the sidewalks of [our] now violent cities within the suburbs that are underneath migrant legal siege.” Who knew?
The even higher information is that — true buddy to ladies that he’s — Trump will not be content material simply to make sure my border security. Nope. He’s coping with all these problematic emotional points we gals wrestle with as soon as we get our hair curlers out and placed on our make-up and our six-inch heels so our fannies jiggle excellent once we stroll.
Donald assures me I’ll “now not be deserted, lonely or scared. I’ll now not be in peril, will now not have anxiousness from all the issues our nation has right this moment.”
How? Trump will likely be my protector! Ladies will likely be “comfortable, wholesome, assured, and free.” All we now have to do is vote for him.
Wow! I’m so relieved. And I hadn’t even gotten off the bed that day. No want. I can simply roll over and return to sleep, safe within the information that previous “Seize them by the pussy” is on the job, caring for me.
The person the jury stated should pay E. Jean Carroll $83.3 million for sexual assault and defamation is taking day off from his quite a few appeals and his presidential marketing campaign to be my protector. The person who paid hush cash to the grownup movie star Stormy Daniels and appointed the judges who overturned Roe v. Wade goes to care for me. The person well-known for his demeaning, derogatory, and simply plain nasty feedback about ladies, this man goes to be our protector, girls. All we now have to do is hop in our stilettos and hurry on right down to vote for him, and we will likely be “comfortable, wholesome, assured, and free.”
Severely?
Now, I’ve been pondering lots just lately concerning the ethical braveness of some Republican leaders – ladies like Liz Cheney – who discovered the power to face as much as Donald Trump. The previous Republican congresswoman campaigned in Wisconsin, often known as the birthplace of the Republican Get together, with Harris on Wednesday. Three different Republican ladies, former Trump White Home aides Cassidy Hutchinson, Alyssa Farah Griffin and Sarah Matthews, are set to marketing campaign for Harris in Pennsylvania subsequent week. I do know not all Republicans, and positively not all ladies, are silly sufficient to fall for Trump’s blatant lies about how he’ll deal with ladies. We lastly have an opportunity – a great opportunity – to elect a robust lady who, as president, will work to make sure equal remedy for ladies. Why would any lady need to return to the world of phony safety supplied by Trump?
It is time for a girl president. Ladies could make a distinction on this election by voting for Harris and giving Trump the message that he now not must “shield” ladies. We are able to care for ourselves simply superb.
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